How to influence on other people!
The video is twenty-two minutes long and comes from the channel of Lada Duncheva. Its description does nothing but point to courses on self-growth psychology, so I cannot say what she teaches about influencing others. I could not listen to the audio, and I will not guess at it. The question in the title, though, has been studied for a long time, and the answers are worth knowing before you try to bend anyone's will.
The classic: Dale Carnegie
In 1936, Dale Carnegie published "How to Win Friends and Influence People," which has sold millions of copies. Its advice is plain and, for a self-help book, remarkably gentle: take a real interest in others, remember names, listen more than you speak, avoid criticizing. Its central idea is that you influence people by making them feel appreciated, not by arguing with them.
What psychology found
The psychologist Robert Cialdini spent years studying how people are persuaded, and in 1984 he published "Influence." He described several principles that work again and again:
- Reciprocity. We feel we should repay a favor.
- Commitment and consistency. Once we say yes to something small, we tend to stay on that path.
- Social proof. We do what we see others doing.
- Authority. We trust people who seem to know.
- Liking. We say yes to those we like.
- Scarcity. We want what looks rare.
Cialdini later added a seventh principle, unity: we are moved by those we feel are part of us.
Influence or manipulation
The line between the two is not always sharp, but a good test exists. Influence respects the other person's freedom and tells the truth. Manipulation hides its purpose, exploits fear or confusion and treats the other person as a tool. The ancient teachers of rhetoric, from Aristotle onward, made this same distinction. A persuasive word that is honest builds trust. One that deceives spends it.
The quiet kind
Most real influence is not a technique. It comes from being someone others can rely on: clear, steady, curious and fair. Mystics have said for centuries that the surest way to change the world around you is to change the person at its center. It is slow, and it works.
If you practice any method from a video, try it first on yourself. Notice how you respond to flattery, urgency and praise. You will learn more about influence from that than from any lesson.
Material audiovisual de referencia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7gYHQ2RF9U
Related Esoteric Inquiries:
- A Machine for Making Gods: Perceiving the Divine in Each Other
- 12 Buddhist Keys to Handling Toxic People (Without Losing Your Peace)
- Why We Do Nice Things For People - The Truth Behind Acts of Kindness
Lux Esoterica.
2026.
Comments