Spiritual Secrets of Intimate Relationships and Sex. Purpose in Life or love: Which comes First?
In this 46-minute video from September 2020, astrologer Lada Duncheva talks about the spiritual side of intimate relationships and asks which comes first, purpose in life or love. I leave out the workshop advertisement and the discount code in the description. I could not listen to the audio, so I do not know what she concludes. Here are some ideas from philosophy, tradition and research that can help you think about the question.
Two old stories about love
- Aristophanes in Plato's Symposium. He tells that humans were once round beings with four arms and four legs. Zeus split them in two, and ever since each half searches for the other.
- Diotima's ladder. In the same dialogue, Socrates recalls a priestess who taught that love begins with the beauty of one body and rises to the love of wisdom itself. Love, in this view, is a path toward purpose.
Tantra, beyond the cliche
Tantra is a family of Indian traditions, Hindu and Buddhist, that developed from about the fifth century. It includes ritual, meditation and symbolism. Sexuality is only a part of some of its schools. Modern Western "neo-tantra" borrows the name for workshops about intimacy, and it differs a lot from the old texts.
What research says about good relationships
- The Harvard Study of Adult Development, which has followed people for more than eighty years, found that warm relationships are among the strongest predictors of health and happiness in later life.
- John Gottman's work on couples identified habits that predict trouble: constant criticism, contempt, defensiveness and shutting down.
- Arthur Aron showed that shared novelty and honest self-disclosure bring partners closer.
Purpose or love: which first?
There is no single answer. A clear sense of purpose makes you less dependent on a partner to feel complete, and that tends to improve the relationship. Love, in turn, can reveal what matters to you. Many people find that the two grow together, each feeding the other.
Questions to ask yourself
- What do I want my life to serve?
- Do I look to a partner to fill an emptiness, or to share a path?
- Can I speak openly about my needs and listen to theirs?
- Do we respect each other's freedom?
Intimacy is a school. It asks for honesty, patience and the courage to be seen.
Material audiovisual de referencia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bztz0RiLTuk
Related Esoteric Inquiries:
- The Spiritual Threshold: Awakening to the Language of the Universe
- The Silence of the Soul: When Stillness Becomes a Spiritual Gateway
- The Secrets of the Rök Stone: When Runes Code the End of the World
Lux Esoterica.
2026.
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